Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Name that stain!! The Hotel Edition...

These were found in one of the most expensive hotels in America, the Gaylord Opryland in Nashville, TN. Probably the worst hotel chain I have ever stayed in.

So I ask you my loyal NINjamonkey's, what is the stain?

Monday, March 17, 2008

Happy Birthday in Korean

Kim was Korean, straight from Korea. His english was limited, I'd find him some times downstairs with the Korean Moonie who ran the lobby shop. CHips, sodas, klondike bars, and my favorite Mike & Ike's. Just talking in Korean, both looking miserable and lonely, the shopkeeper always looking bored.........
Sharlleen was my direct super, Duke graduate, so we had North Carolina in common. She was younger than me but was not naive to the Bossman's ways. She tried to warn me as best she could:
"He doesn't understand technical terms, so when possible use technical sounding terms so as to confuse and silence him. You'll be set if you do."

The Bossman liked to be as spontaneaous as he thought he could, never plannning to leave at a certain time, meetings never planned, everything just as last minute as possible.

This one morning, a birthday morning, probably my second or third week there , he hatched a plan to help celebrate Sharlleen's birthday. This morning he called Kim and I to his office.
I think it would a good idea if we sing happy birthday to Sharlleen. In Korean!

After a few minutes of convincing KIm, using various tones of
"The song you sing on someone's birthday????!! on the day someone was born"
Questioning ourselves whether or not he understood what we were trying to say.........Kim taught us the song you sing to those on the anniversary of their birth. Then on the bosses lead we burst into Sharlleen's office, one over eager spontaneous guy, one confused Korean and one embarrassed new hire, singing a half assed version of Happy bIRTHDAY IN Korean..

some names have been changed to protect the unwilling participants!

Edited Madness

I posted a really ugly rant about out part time councilman (JACK EVANS if you didn't know works for a lobbyist), our ignorant neighbors, the idiot children and adults with guns and other stupid idiotic crap that infests our lovely neighborhood. Problem is, I was not in a proper state of mind....so when I awoke the next morning at 6 I immediately erased the post. My apologies to all those who thought they were going to read a post about jack evans other job as a whore's vulva.


Wednesday, March 05, 2008

probably should have said it differently

to the deli counter guy "no need to pack it in, i only need a little meat with my tossed salad."


To whom it may concern:

I am submitting payment for this parking fine, not because I believe I am guilty of a violation but because I do not currently have the time, money or resources to fight such a ridiculous fine. I received this parking violation in the multi level public parking lot in downtown Bethesda.

On the night in question, my wife and I along with some friends planned to catch a movie and dinner. After submitting two hours worth of coins into the meter, after dinner at approximately 7:15, we ventured off to the theatre to view a 90 + minute movie (which started at 7:30). After the movie we decided to enjoy a few cocktails at one of Bethesda's many bars and restaurants, but before we did this I thought we should stop by the car to deposit more coins into the meter so as to avoid getting a parking violation. To my surprise when I arrived back at the car at approximately 9:25 there was already a ticket. Needless to say the idea of spending more money in a town or county that treated its guest with a $35 parking violation was not a priority. That night I wasn't in the mood to enjoy and celebrate Bethesda.
And as a person living on a budget, this was not $35 well spent.

My question to you is how do you expect people to celebrate and enjoy Bethesda through visiting its many movie theatres, restaurant and bars if you only allow them a ridiculously limited amount of time in which to enjoy Bethesda's many social venues? Especially when it comes to movies, these days movies run in excess of 2 hours. How are movie goers supposed to enjoy a movie if every two hours they have to leave to deposit coins in a parking garage that is 2 blocks away.

Please know that from now on I will do whatever it takes to ensure that my money, my wife's money and my friend's money is never spent in Montgomery County and especially Bethesda. Because Bethesda, Montgomery County hates visitors and those that spend money there!

Yours in Violation,


Tuesday, March 04, 2008

The Lumberjack

We rarely if ever had meetings, when meetings happened they always divulged into tangents and anecdotes about subjects no one quite knew how to follow or understand. Rarely were meetings for everyone, but story time to help feed the teller's ego.

On this morning a meeting was called to address professional attire and tardiness. A few nameless colleagues (it was a small office so it wasnt hard to figure who) have
a) been regularly late to work and/or
b) not dressing professionally (read suit tie, or two steps up from business casual, or as we like to call it "bidness formal")

Minutes felt like hours as The Boss and my direct supervisor (live via teleconference) went on and on about the importance of dressing in professional attire and arriving on time. Knowing that this talking to was not directed at me I settled into a hazy dream world of "I DON'T CARE".

"No Jeans"

"No Sneakers"

"No Haltertops"

"When we say 9:00 AM, we don't mean 9:05 or 9:10"

Blah blah blah blah.............

Eventually the meeting was done and we all went onto do our respective tasks for the day......

The next day....

It was known around the office that The Boss liked to stay late and he liked the taste of alcohol, we weren't really sure if the staying late and the liking of the taste of alcohol were related but there was always alcohol in the office, be it in wine bottle form or mouth wash form (which is another story for another day). It was also easy to determine if the boss had stayed late the previous night because he always had bed head and usually was dressed in the same clothes or variation of the previous day's attire from the previous work day. So the next day after the "MEETING on professional attire" it was obvious that THE BOSS had stayed the night. Only on this occasion, accompanying his bedhead, he was dressed in a red and black flannel and a pair of jeans, that we later discovered he stored in filing cabinets,

Never again were we warned about attire.....

Saturday, March 01, 2008

I almost don't want to say anything, but the coincidence is to fucking weird.

Image the luck. Driving to work and spotting another douchebag, what luck... I ask...what luck!
If you remember earlier in the week we saw propagandist Krauthammer driving and running over children. Or so we heard!!

Imagine my surprise when I saw conservative Robert Novak (not to be confused with Krauthammer's nëu-conversativism rock style!!). so weird 2 prominent propagandists in 2 days!!!
Propaganda is a good racket, as evident by Bobby's Corvette.

AN accident at the corner of 9th and Constitution kept Bob and I next to each other for a few seconds......So I documented....

To all residents of the DC environs, please for the sake of the children, keep a wide berth around Novak's busted up black corvette. It's condition was reminiscent of Dirk Diggler's Trans Am late in the movie, it had seen better days.

Don't say I didn't warn you!!